Notes from an Intern
After seeing all of the other Halfpixel guys’ interns posting on their blogs, I demanded my turn. After all, I’ve been interning for Mr. Guigar all summer long, and I deserve just as much recognition as those other girls.
Of course, it was different for me. There are hundreds of Mr. Guigar’s competitors who would love to use someone like me to get to all of Mr. Guigar’s secrets — the publishing date of his next book, his secret to understanding villain mentality, his formula for developing devastating puns.
So, from the start, Mr. Guigar insisted my internship should be kept a secret. His own wife doesn’t even know I’ve been coming to his studio every day since school let out. But I really, reeeaaally wanted to post my own Notes From An Intern, too. So, finally, we found a place to post it where she would never read it.
Posting it at xkcd.com, he said, would have blown our cover in a minute.
So, what can I cay about working with Mr. Guigar? He is, of course, ONE OF THE GREATEST LIVING CARTOONISTS ON THE PLANET. I know this because it’s painted in fourteen-inch letters around the circumference of his studio. It’s somewhat hypnotic.
He also likes to keep his studio very, very hot. Every day I come to work wearing less and less, and I still end up peeling something off. Mr. Guigar has an air conditioner in the window of his studio, but he says it doesn’t work. I suggested it might work better if it were plugged in, but he just laughed and told me to leave the complicated electrical equipment to him. HE’S SO SMART. That’s in twelve-inch letters across his door.
But the heat really makes it hard to work. I told him that if it stayed this hot I was just going to start coming to work in my underwear! Coincidentally, the next day, he brought in a new server for his Web site. It really throws off a lot of heat. I just might write a nasty letter to the company that makes them — Coleman. I mean, who’s ever heard of a server that runs on kerosene, anyway? But, of course, that’s more complicated electrical equipment stuff, isn’t it?
Mr. Guigar is a very easy man to work for. My only complaint is that he doesn’t seem to trust me very much. No matter where I am in the studio, he insists on moving his drawing table so he can watch me. But that’s OK. It’s worth it to work with such a GENIUS. (10-inch letters… he’s so humble!)
And I’m doing very important work, too. Yesterday I started alphabetizing all of his script notes. I got all the way to the Cs before he told me to take a break. I guess he was getting tired of hearing me sing that little song. Maybe tomorrow I’ll try shipping. I sure hope I don’t get seasick. Ew!
I just want to end my first post by offering a word of advice to those other Halfpixel interns. They seem to be obsessed with reaching for the stars. Mr. Guigar insists I stay grounded. In fact, to help keep this in my thoughts, he starts my every day by telling me to reach for my toes. And he stands right over me to make sure I’m doing it right.
That’s Mr. Guigar. He really cares!