Having read the first two issues of Marvel Divas, I have to say that my primary complaint is that they’re too flat.

Seriously.

These characters are almost devoid of any depth whatsoever. I know this was supposed to be a Marvel take on Sex in the City, but you know what made that show good? The four characters had discernible personalities. And each personality could play off of any other (or others) and lead to interesting dialogue.

It wasn’t particularly original — Golden Girls was done years earlier (and done better — exponentially better — for my taste). It’s a tried-and true formula for the genre.

Aside from a “girlfriend…” thrown into the dialogue, there’s absolutely nothing to separate this from any standard-issue comic story.

(By the way… does anyone — anyone — actually pepper their everyday dialogue with “girl…” or “girlfriend…”?)

It’s a shame, because, judging from the cover, at least, we were promised anything but flat.

Which brings us to the art and… more flatness.

I’m talking, of course, about the tremendous deficiency in the way these chacacters are drawn…

These people have no noses! None of ’em do! (Go ahead… click on the image above for a full page.) It really started to bother me about ten-or-eleven panels into the story — everyone’s face is as flat as a shovel. Nostrils they got. Noses they lack. It was one of those things that, once I noticed it, it started to creep me out big-time. I like my characters to have noses. I’m just that way. If you wimp out on drawing noses, you wind up with aliens.

So, I’m ditching this book two issues in. I was promised a sizzling-hot “Sex in the City” take on the Marvel Universe. But what I got fell flat.

It’s as plain as the nose off your face.