Blackest Night #2

Creative team: Story by Geoff Johns; Art by Ivan Reis and Oclair Albert

Villain to Watch: Black Lantern

They say: The event of the summer continues! The dead rise across the DC Universe, bringing terror and darkness with them. What are the Black Lanterns? What do they want? Will Earth’s greatest heroes survive long enough to find out – or will they join the Black Lantern Corps?

I say: Feh. I still say this plot reads like “DC Zombies” — a cheap rip-off of a popular Marvel concept. But it’s the dominant story in the DC Universe right now, so I’m going to at least pick up the core Blackest Night title. But I’m avoiding Blackest Night Batman, Blackest Night Superman and every other off-shoot right down to Blackest Night Metamorpho when it eventually comes out. So I’m gonna pick it up, but I’m holding my nose.

G-Man

Creative team: Story and art by Chris Giarrusso

Villain to Watch: Unknown

They say: Mini-Marvels creator Chris Giarrusso returns with a brand new G-Man miniseries! When pieces of G-Man’s magic cape fall into the wrong hands, things quickly spin out of control. G-Man and his friends must battle to recover the pieces, and this time the bad guys have the same power as G-Man!

I say: I’m looking down the list, and all I can see are titles that I just can’t buy into. Action Comics is promising a story in which Nightwing and Flamebird face off against Metallo and Reactron, which is all part of General Lanes plan to blah blah blah. I’ve been told I’m missing out, but this just looks like a 40-page yawner. And since Batman and Captain America have both been killed and resurrected, I just feel a disconnect. I can’t get excited about someone who isn’t Bruce Wayne masquerading as Batman. And I haven’t even bothered to find out how or why Cap is back.

Which is the long way around of saying that I’m looking for a little something new to add to the list. Now, I met Chris at New York comic Con when we were on a panel together, and I know that this guy can draw his keister off. So I’m picking up G-Man. It might be just the thing to snap me out of my doldrums.

Green Lantern Corps #39

Creative team: Story by Peter Tomasi; Art by patrick Gleason and Rebecca Buchman

Villain to Watch: Black Lantern

They say: Just when things couldn’t look any darker after the death and chaos of the Sciencell riot, Blackest Night descends on Oa! The black rings tear into the planet and the Lantern Crypt causing all the dead Corps members to rise and wreak havoc as a new and deadlier battle threatens to engulf not only the Corps, but the Universe itself!

I say: Yeah. I know what I just got done sayin’. I’m pulling this one anyway. Don’t bother writing. You can’t hate me any more than I hate myself. But I still ain’t picking up Blackest Night Metamorpho. I ain’t, I’m telling ya!

Pet Avengers #4

Creative team: Story by Chris Eliopoulos; Art by Chris Eliopoulos and Ig Guara

Villain to Watch: Unknown

They say: They’ve been up / down / around / about / forward / backward. They’ve gone to the jungle / ocean / Central Park / outer space. They’ve scratched / pawed / clawed / gnawed their way throughout all existence, all for this moment! Now they’ve finally found all of the Infinity Gems…so what’s a moon-puppy to do when he’s given all the power in the universe? Featuring a very special presidential puppy appearance!

I say:Incidentally, Eliopoulos was on that New York Comic Con panel I mentioned earlier, too. Chris hit one out of the park with this series as far as I’m concerned. It’s a unique premise for a story and the art has been rock-solid. Picking this up is going to make me feel so much better about picking up two Blackest Night titles this week.

Marvel Divas #2

Creative team: Story by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa; Art by Tonci Zonjic

Villain to Watch: Unknown

They say: After last issue’s shocking revelation, Angelica ‘Firestar’ Jones seeks out medical advice…from none other than Dr. Stephen Strange. (Paving the way for yet another diva to enter the fray: The nocturnal Night Nurse!) Meanwhile, Monica ‘Photon’ Rambeau and Patsy ‘Hellcat’ Walker are drawn back into the lives of their ex-boyfriends of the damned: Brother Voodoo and Daimon Hellstrom, respectively. And Felicia ‘Black Cat’ Hardy contemplates a return to her life of crime…the claws are out as this mini-series continues!

I say: Yup. This is gonna do the trick. Nothing like cheesecake to ease the bitter taste of surrendered principles. And besides, after pulling a couple of straight-up G-rated picks like G-Man and Pet Avengers, you guys might think I’m getting soft. And this certainly isn’t the pick of a guy who’s going… Nah. Ain’t gonna go there.

…And One To pass…

The Mangalicious Tick #2

Creative team: Story and art by Robbins Studio

Villain to Watch: Setting Sun

They say: The second installment in our 4-issue Tick ‘Manga’ limited series! Charged with protecting a princess, Tick and his new companions must seek a monk who holds the key to saving the land and returning Tick to The City! Meanwhile, in The City, Arthur and Oedipus try to rally The City’s heroes against the villainous Setting Sun!

I say: Let’s get a couple things straight. The Tick was a high-water mark in the area of super-hero humor. It was brilliant. It was visually effective. And it was ground-breaking.

It was not manga.

I’ve got nothing against manga, mind you. But “Tick manga?” Please.

Besides, judging from the cover, this isn’t only crap; it’s poorly drawn crap. Which is the crappiest crap of all.

Pass with a vengence.