Transcript
Evil Inc – March 13, 2025
Panel 1:
(Narration box:)
The following morning finds Angus in North Fairmount, stocking a safehouse at the request of his employer, the Lethal Librarian…
Angus:
Good morning, ma’am.
Mrs. Elliot:
Now I’ve seen everything! A TALKING COW!
Panel 2:
Angus (clears throat):
Ahem—I am a minotaur, ma’am.
Panel 3:
Mrs. Elliot:
Don’t you go stomping around in there! I have Hummels in the china closet!
Panel 4:
Angus (hesitant):
I… don’t… stomp…
Mrs. Elliot:
You’re brown. Does that mean you give chocolate milk?
Panel 5:
Angus:
That’s a myth, ma’am.
Mrs. Elliot:
Ok… So put me down for a quart of regular and a pint of heavy cream.
Panel 6:
(Angus stomps his hoof in frustration, making a loud THUMP sound.)
Angus (shouting):
I AM NOT A COW!
(A small sound comes from the background: Tinkle.)
Panel 7:
Mrs. Elliot (smirking):
If that’s the little girl feeding ducks, you’re in deep manure, bossy.
Phables
Ask anybody who lives in a big city and they’ll tell you. We like it when the police catch a drug dealer, but we’d
love it if they’d lock up the cretin who refuses to clean up after his dog. In today’s
Phable, we see what citations would read like if they were levied for everyday, quality-of-life offenses.
Due to popular request, I’ve made this one a
downloadable PDF.