Chapter 16 | Page 7a: The Ballad of Spider Mackenzie

Transcript

Evil Inc, March 11, 2025

Panel 1

(Matt the Henchman and Angus the Minotaur are sitting at a bar. Angus is holding a phone, while matt has a drink in front of him. Angus' phone buzzes with a "boop boop" sound.)

Angus: "ACH! I'm sorry, mate! Duty calls! I'm workin' a gig with The Lethal Librarian!"

Panel 2

Matt (narration panel): "You got picked by the Dewey Decimator?! I'm jealous! I love her tagline!"

Lethal Librarian (a stylish woman with green glasses, a green blazer, and a stern expression, stands pointing.): "You're OVERDUE!"

Panel 3

Angus: "Between you and me, I actually picked her!"
Matt (excitedly): "Geez Louise! How many henches get to pick their own assignments?!"

Panel 4

(Angus smirks while Matt looks on, intrigued.)

Angus: "Only two henches have top-level clearance to access the Master Job Board at Evil Inc...
Angus: "Me, and Spider Mackenzie."

Off-panel voice: "Spider Mackenzie?! He died in that Land Piranha Incident!"

Panel 5

(Matt leans in, skeptical.)

Angus: "Are you sure?!"

Panel 6

(A skeleton, covered in small green piranha-like creatures, sits eerily still.)

Spider: "Oh, I'm certain."

Seven Years of Schlock

Seven Years of Schlock

Howard Tayler is celebrating seven years of his daily sci-fi comic Schlock Mercenary. Schlock is one of the truly seminal sci-fi strips on the Web. It’s written to a depth that has earned it fervent fans the globe over. If that doesn’t include you yet, you need to go look.

While you’re at it, check out Howard’s cool new idea: A Schlock-themed coloring book! It’s available for a donation of any size. See the Schlock site for details.