Chapter 16 | Page 7b: Cows for Alarm

Transcript

Evil Inc – March 13, 2025

Panel 1:
(Narration box:)
The following morning finds Angus in North Fairmount, stocking a safehouse at the request of his employer, the Lethal Librarian…

Angus:
Good morning, ma’am.

Mrs. Elliot:
Now I’ve seen everything! A TALKING COW!

Panel 2:
Angus (clears throat):
Ahem—I am a minotaur, ma’am.

Panel 3:
Mrs. Elliot:
Don’t you go stomping around in there! I have Hummels in the china closet!

Panel 4:
Angus (hesitant):
I… don’t… stomp…

Mrs. Elliot:
You’re brown. Does that mean you give chocolate milk?

Panel 5:
Angus:
That’s a myth, ma’am.

Mrs. Elliot:
Ok… So put me down for a quart of regular and a pint of heavy cream.

Panel 6:
(Angus stomps his hoof in frustration, making a loud THUMP sound.)

Angus (shouting):
I AM NOT A COW!

(A small sound comes from the background: Tinkle.)

Panel 7:
Mrs. Elliot (smirking):
If that’s the little girl feeding ducks, you’re in deep manure, bossy.

Archive: Simon’s Sausage

Archive: Simon’s Sausage

Hee’s one from the archives that I stumbled over yesterday. It’s a cartoon that I did for the Philadelphia Daily News in 2003.

The story was this: A baseball player, playfully batting at a mascot doing a race on the field, acidentally tripped the mascot, hurting the woman inside the costume.

[ESPN] Pittsburgh first baseman Randall Simon was questioned by sheriff’s officers after hitting one of the Milwaukee Brewers’ sausage mascots with his bat during a game… “That wasn’t my intention in my heart for that to happen,” he said before Thursday’s Brewers-Pirates game. “I was just trying to get a tap at the costume and for her to finish the race.”