Chapter 16 | Page 7b: Cows for Alarm

Posted on March 13, 2025 by Brad Guigar

Transcript

Evil Inc – March 13, 2025

Panel 1:
(Narration box:)
The following morning finds Angus in North Fairmount, stocking a safehouse at the request of his employer, the Lethal Librarian…

Angus:
Good morning, ma’am.

Mrs. Elliot:
Now I’ve seen everything! A TALKING COW!

Panel 2:
Angus (clears throat):
Ahem—I am a minotaur, ma’am.

Panel 3:
Mrs. Elliot:
Don’t you go stomping around in there! I have Hummels in the china closet!

Panel 4:
Angus (hesitant):
I… don’t… stomp…

Mrs. Elliot:
You’re brown. Does that mean you give chocolate milk?

Panel 5:
Angus:
That’s a myth, ma’am.

Mrs. Elliot:
Ok… So put me down for a quart of regular and a pint of heavy cream.

Panel 6:
(Angus stomps his hoof in frustration, making a loud THUMP sound.)

Angus (shouting):
I AM NOT A COW!

(A small sound comes from the background: Tinkle.)

Panel 7:
Mrs. Elliot (smirking):
If that’s the little girl feeding ducks, you’re in deep manure, bossy.

Schlock book

Posted on October 17, 2006 by Brad Guigar

The New Schlock Storefront

Big news from Howard Tayler’s blog:

If you live anywhere in North America, pre-orders for Schlock Mercenary: The Blackness Between will open on Tuesday morning. We’re throwing the switch at 8 a.m. Mountain Daylight Time, which is Coordinated Universal Time -6 hours, or 2 p.m. GMT. (This means that for pretty much the rest of the world, pre-orders open in the afternoon or evening.)

This is only important if you’re planning on ordering a Sketch Edition. Those orders will open at 2 p.m. GMT on Tuesday and close at 2 p.m. GMT on Wednesday. You will have 24 hours to order one, at which point the only way to get me to sketch in your book is to catch up with me at a convention.

So… set your alarm clocks, or take whatever steps are necessary to ensure that you don’t accidentally sleep through the entire sketch-edition ordering window. And if you DON’T want a sketch edition, well… you’ll have about 4 weeks of pre-ordering “plain old signed books� before we close the system and prepare for shipment.

You heard the man. Now get going!