Catnip is miffed that she’s going to lose her commission due to Cassie Cruz’s new policy. To make matters worse, the superheroes seem to have had advance notice on a number of Evil Inc schemes. Evil Inc has a mole. But who…?
Transcript
Evil Inc – January 30, 2025
by Brad J. Guigar
Panel 1:
(Setting: The Evil Inc breakroom where several villains are gathered. Catnip, a blonde woman in a blue catsuit, stands with her hands on her hips. Miss Match, a red-haired woman in red and orange, is making coffee; Lightning Lady, a blonde in a blue costume; Desdemona, a red-skinned woman in a black and red outfit; Giant Tess, a woman in a green and orange suit; and Count Spurlock, a green-skinned man in a vest.)
Catnip: "Think about it! To be inside the building, Captain Heroic had to know about the Mime’s plans in advance!"
Lightning Lady: "That’s odd. When Dreadshade cracked the safe at Fairmount Bank, he got glitter-bombed!"
Count Spurlock: "I saw. The guy looked like he went down on Shirley Eaton.*"
Caption (bottom): "*You’ve got Google. Look it up."
Panel 2:
Catnip: "And don’t forget what happened when Dr. Patchwork heisted that shipment of arms…"
(Dr. Patchwork stands in front of a group of zombie henchmen with no arms. He opens a crate of weapons.)
Dr. Patchwork: "Damn it! These are just guns!"
Panel 3:
(Catnip raises a finger, looking serious.)
Catnip: "Face it. Someone is leaking information about our clients’ schemes to the superheroes."
Panel 4:
(A flashback scene shows Cassie Cruz, a brunette in glasses and a white blouse, packing up her office at the “Silver Agency,” a superhero placement agency that is now closed.)
Narration box: "And it’s been happening ever since 'Little Miss Silver Agency' took over."
Panel 5:
(Catnip clenches her fist, her expression determined.)
Catnip: "The answer is clear… WE NEED TO GET RID OF CASSIE CRUZ."
Oh... and this is Shirley Eaton.
On the Katie Couric indignation
Just a thought about the righteous indignation you’re reading in your daily newspaper today (or more likely, on that newspaper’s Web site) from a guy who has spent more time inside a newsroom than is considered healthy.
But first, a little newspaper primer. In a newspaper, there’s a special category of writer in which one is allowed to write using one’s opinion. The traditional rules of objectivity don’t apply to this writer, called a columnist. The manner in which a newspaper alerts you, the dutiful reader, that the piece you are about to read contains subjective content is to present the writer’s photograph next to his or her piece (
which is another rant entirely…remind me sometime…). It’s called a “column sig” in newspaperspeak.
Today, almost every newspaper in America will include a columnist expressing wide-eyed astonishment over the fact that a photo of Katie Couric for a magazine cover was doctored to make Couric look thinner and more attractive. And along with these columns will be column sigs made from photos. And in almost every last damned case, the columnist refused to approve the photograph for print until it had undergone a significant amount of retouching.
Now if that doesn’t make you smile today, nothing will.
