Chapter 16 | Page 2b: Advance notice

Catnip is miffed that she’s going to lose her commission due to Cassie Cruz’s new policy. To make matters worse, the superheroes seem to have had advance notice on a number of Evil Inc schemes. Evil Inc has a mole. But who…?

Transcript

Evil Inc – January 30, 2025
by Brad J. Guigar

Panel 1:
(Setting: The Evil Inc breakroom where several villains are gathered. Catnip, a blonde woman in a blue catsuit, stands with her hands on her hips. Miss Match, a red-haired woman in red and orange, is making coffee; Lightning Lady, a blonde in a blue costume; Desdemona, a red-skinned woman in a black and red outfit; Giant Tess, a woman in a green and orange suit; and Count Spurlock, a green-skinned man in a vest.)

Catnip: "Think about it! To be inside the building, Captain Heroic had to know about the Mime’s plans in advance!"

Lightning Lady: "That’s odd. When Dreadshade cracked the safe at Fairmount Bank, he got glitter-bombed!"

Count Spurlock: "I saw. The guy looked like he went down on Shirley Eaton.*"

Caption (bottom): "*You’ve got Google. Look it up."

Panel 2:
Catnip: "And don’t forget what happened when Dr. Patchwork heisted that shipment of arms…"

(Dr. Patchwork stands in front of a group of zombie henchmen with no arms. He opens a crate of weapons.)

Dr. Patchwork: "Damn it! These are just guns!"

Panel 3:
(Catnip raises a finger, looking serious.)

Catnip: "Face it. Someone is leaking information about our clients’ schemes to the superheroes."

Panel 4:
(A flashback scene shows Cassie Cruz, a brunette in glasses and a white blouse, packing up her office at the “Silver Agency,” a superhero placement agency that is now closed.)

Narration box: "And it’s been happening ever since 'Little Miss Silver Agency' took over."

Panel 5:
(Catnip clenches her fist, her expression determined.)

Catnip: "The answer is clear… WE NEED TO GET RID OF CASSIE CRUZ."

Oh... and this is Shirley Eaton.

Bring Back Melanie!

Bring Back Melanie!Melanie Martinez, a favorite in the Guigar household, has been fired by PBS for some videos she appreaded in seven years ago. Melanie is the nighttime host for PBS KIDS Sprout, a cable channel that plays kids shows. My son is enamored with her and, well, I think she’s cute as a darned button. Her delivery is engaging — she’s impossible not to watch. I look forward to her segments when my son is watching his before-bedtime-kids-show.

Martinez was fired when PBS learned of a couple 30-second videos — this one and this one — that she did for TechnicalVirgin.com, a safe-sex-spoof-site, several years earlier.

According for her Wikipedia entry, the poor girl has even been removed from her alma mater’s list of distinguished alumni.

This is very sad news indeed. I understand that PBS has every right to protect their property, but I have such a hard time believing that these seven-year-old, 30-second spoofs seriously damage her ability to host a kids show. I think it was a bad move — and I’m not alone.

If you, too are the parent of a Sprout fan (and if you feel the same), tell them how disgusted you are. E-mail [email protected] and tell them BRING BACK MELANIE!