Chapter 16 | Page 4b: Mean golden girls

Transcript

Panel 1

(Cassie Cruz speaking to Jeremy, who is standing in front of a board with pictures of various Evil Inc employees.)

Cassie Cruz: Jeremy, we have to find out who has been leaking information to the heroes before they pin it on me! The only nursing home capable of caring for my mother is contingent on my job here! — And even they have their hands full!

Panel 2

(A flashback scene shows Cassie narrating while Princess Charming, an elderly woman in a wheelchair, is interacting with another patient in the nursing home.)

Cassie Cruz (narrating): As a top-tier mind-controller with dementia, my mom keeps reliving the past — and pulling innocent people into her world!

Panel 3

(A flashback continues with an orderly, wearing a red shirt, standing near Princess Charming. Green energy surrounds them as the orderly appears to be in a trance.)

Cassie Cruz (narrating): Last week, an orderly forgot to turn on his neuro-dampener last week. Before anyone knew it, he was reenacting a battle between Mom and Hijinx.

Jeremy: Was Hijinx a hero she used to fight?

Panel 4

Cassie Cruz (narrating): Worse. It was a villain she had a rivalry with.

Princess Charming: I wish I could be like you. It must be so freeing not to stress over every little pound!

Panel 5

(Orderly is sitting on a couch, speaking with a therapist)

Cassie Cruz (narrating): The poor guy has been in counseling ever since!

Orderly: I mean… I thought I looked cute in bangs!

(Comic strip by Brad J. Guigar. © 2025. All rights reserved. Visit evil-inc.com)

I have a real bone to pick with the people who marketed the computer-animated feature Hoodwinked . They had me convinced I was going to hate the movie.

We ended up renting it over the weekend for Movie Night, and I roared from start to finish.

See, the trailer made it look like some kind of action flick in which the main characters from the Red-Riding-Hood story team-up to do battle in some kind of James Bond adventure. Turns out, this is the Brothers Grimm meets Law and Order. Furry and feathered cops from the animal world investigate a domestic disturbance at Granny’s cottage, involving a girl, a wolf, and an axe. The charges are many: breaking and entering, disturbing the peace, intent to eat, etc. After seeing the story from Red’s point of view, the story is re-told for the cops by each participant — the girl, the wolf, Grandma, and the Woodsman.

Of course, in each re-telling we learn a little more and thing we saw in Red’s version are seen in a new light or explained in a bizarre way. It’s really done in a clever way.

That alone would have gotten me into the movie theater, but then it came time for the wolf’s story and I was about to go from enjoyment to fandom. The wolf, wearing an old, hooded sweatshirt and a Lakers jersey, is a dead-on homage to the title character in the classic 80s comedy, Fletch.

And it’s done perfectly! The Harold Faltermeyer music in the background, the disguises, the razor-sharp dialogue as the Wolf goes undercover. Absolutely beautiful. My only quibble was that Patrick Warburton’s voice was too deep and menacing to pull off the trademark Fletch banter. Warburton does deadpan to a “T,” but Chevy Chase gave it that extra sarcastic bite that made it truly identifiable.

It was a much needed fix for this hardcore Fletch fan. I’ve been holding out hope that someday Kevin Smith will get around to doing that coveted third Fletch. movie, but I know not to get too optimistic. ‘Till then, I’ll have this gem.