Transcript

Evil Inc – March 18, 2025
by Brad J. Guigar

[Panel 1]
(Caption: A few nights later, Angus checks in with his employer, the Lethal Librarian.)
Angus: Yes, ma’am, I’m nearly finished stocking the safehouse.

[Panel 2]
Angus (on the phone): You didn’t warn me about Mrs. Elliot. She thinks I’m a cow!
She keeps insisting I leave quarts of milk on her front stoop.

[Panel 3]
(Close-up of the Lethal Librarian on the phone, looking incredulous.)
Lethal Librarian: That’s ridiculous! You don’t have udders!

[Panel 4]
(Caption: "There was only one way to make her stop.")
(Angus is seen sneaking up Mrs. Elliot’s stairs at night, placing bottles of white liquid on her doorstep.)

[Panel 5]
(Lethal Librarian, shocked on the phone.)
Lethal Librarian: Great Gutenberg’s ghost! You didn’t!
Angus: I didn’t… but I’m putting her dairy bill on your account.
(Angus is in the kitchen, pouring milk into bottles.)

[Panel 6]
(Sound effect: knock knock*)
Angus (on phone): I’ll call you back.
(He turns toward the door.)
Angus: Someone’s at the door.

[Panel 7]
(Angus answers the door to see Lightning Lady standing outside.)
Angus: LIGHTNING LADY!

Lightning Lady: You’ll never believe what your neighbor asked me to do…