Chapter 16 | Page 4b: Mean golden girls

Posted on February 20, 2025 by Brad Guigar

Transcript

Panel 1

(Cassie Cruz speaking to Jeremy, who is standing in front of a board with pictures of various Evil Inc employees.)

Cassie Cruz: Jeremy, we have to find out who has been leaking information to the heroes before they pin it on me! The only nursing home capable of caring for my mother is contingent on my job here! — And even they have their hands full!

Panel 2

(A flashback scene shows Cassie narrating while Princess Charming, an elderly woman in a wheelchair, is interacting with another patient in the nursing home.)

Cassie Cruz (narrating): As a top-tier mind-controller with dementia, my mom keeps reliving the past — and pulling innocent people into her world!

Panel 3

(A flashback continues with an orderly, wearing a red shirt, standing near Princess Charming. Green energy surrounds them as the orderly appears to be in a trance.)

Cassie Cruz (narrating): Last week, an orderly forgot to turn on his neuro-dampener last week. Before anyone knew it, he was reenacting a battle between Mom and Hijinx.

Jeremy: Was Hijinx a hero she used to fight?

Panel 4

Cassie Cruz (narrating): Worse. It was a villain she had a rivalry with.

Princess Charming: I wish I could be like you. It must be so freeing not to stress over every little pound!

Panel 5

(Orderly is sitting on a couch, speaking with a therapist)

Cassie Cruz (narrating): The poor guy has been in counseling ever since!

Orderly: I mean… I thought I looked cute in bangs!

(Comic strip by Brad J. Guigar. © 2025. All rights reserved. Visit evil-inc.com)

Reposted from my Facebook page over the weekend:

On sixteen years of Wedded Bliss…

So, last night, my wonderful in-laws took the boys on a sleepover, and Caroline and I celebrated our anniversary with a date night. She found an incredible Mexican restaurant in South Philly, Plaza Garibaldi, and we toasted 16 fantastic years over margaritas. When I think about what I’m most thankful for, I’d have to say it’s Doctor Who on the BBC. In 1998, I was a guy with an upwardly mobile newspaper job. I left for work wearing a tie and suspenders every day. And, sure, I worked a night shift then, but I was going to be the Assistant Graphic Editor. And, then, the Graphics Editor. And after that… who knows? But it looked pretty damn sweet. Fast forward to Now. I go to work in jeans and a T-shirt. I call myself a cartoonist, for chrissakes. I self-publish books, sweat over stuff like shipping and Internet stats. I still work the night shift. And the day shift. And any other shift I can fit in there. When I’ve written something I think is funny, I’m insufferable. And when that doesn’t happen, I’m worse. And since the kids came along, we live in a frat house. My wife lives in fervent hope of getting through one meal — just one — without poop jokes. Or farts. Or fart jokes. Or a quote from Teen Titans Go. Or a round of 20 Questions — Which Marvel Villain Am I. Life is a whirlwind of school, homework, swimming lessons, choir, judo, did-we-pay-that-bill, did you remember to schedule this, what do you want from the grocery store, and when are we gonna find time for that. It’s questions like “do you think that’s pink eye?” and “does this look like mouse poop?” And that’s why I’m thankful for Doctor Who on the BBC. Because, if he were real… and if he showed up before she walked down the aisle 16 years ago… there’s nobody in their right mind who could fault her from stepping into the Tardis and getting the hell out. She’d still have time to build a life that would look more like the one she had in mind. But the good Doctor is on a sound stage in Wales. And we’re here in Philadelphia. Together. Happy. Healthy. Parents of a couple of beautiful kids. And as nuts about each other as we were 16 years ago. Maybe more.